Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
