I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
