Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize