You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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