I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
