so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
