i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
