So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
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It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
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I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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