bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize