she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
And then he peed in my hair
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