I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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