God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
