I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
