At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
