yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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