Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
no, he came in my armpit
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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