Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
