Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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