so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
