this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
