Are we in a gay sports bar?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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