I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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