Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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