I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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