the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
please don't ironically join a cult
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