Fuck appropriateness.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
