Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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