let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
