oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
