check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
