is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
