would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
