So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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