Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
