Umm I'm too high to move.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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