If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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