Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my shit smells like andre
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
