I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
True strength comes from lack of pants
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