Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
