i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
