My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
