so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
