nut hugger
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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