the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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