I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
