he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
