Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
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All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
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Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.