Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.