Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
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I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
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i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?