11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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