also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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