guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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