great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I stole a fireplace last night.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
