I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
