I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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