Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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