Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
