i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
