8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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