i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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