just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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