just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I won't apologize to a one balled man
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
