I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
