i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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