You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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